I have searched everywhere for hope and help. My days have been filled with disappointment and rejection. Morning after morning I awakened to discover the emptiness of the places I have tried to find hope and help.

Years were spent telling a doctor of my problems. He would diagnose the problems as a nerve condition. After many bottles of pills I still had the problems and the added problem of medical expenses. I was searching for the answers in the yellow pill or the blue pill.

Time passed and I suffered the results of the many avenues that I had taken. I tried to discover some real good friend somewhere. I needed someone that would understand my problems. I found that everyone had his or her own set of problems. They were all absolutely absorbed in things that concerned them alone. They had a set of close friends and family that did not include me.

Then I tried to search for help in my talents. Then I discovered my talents were less than good. No one was really interested in my situation or my need. I could not rely on the things that I could do. Nothing seemed to be a comfort or a place of refuge.

So many years of my time were spent in trying to be a faithful loving wife. All my resources were expended in my efforts to please my husband and to be a good mother. This was so important to me. I couldn't face the truth behind my efforts. Somewhere in this struggle for recognition and love I nearly lost my sanity.

Then for years I lived two lives at the same time. One life sane and composed, and the other insane and out of control. It was hell on earth to live in my body. The pain was beyond imagination. I was at the end of a long road of trying to find answers in the wrong places.

In spite of all of the outward confusion and turmoil deep in my heart I knew God was the answer to my need. However I didn't trust Him with my life or my problems. I tried to find the answers on my own steam. When all the steam ran out and old age set in I discovered He was the only place to go for my hope and help.

No amount of people or things could satisfy the deep longing in my heart. It was like I wanted to go home, and couldn't find the road or the bus to carry me there. My journey was hopeless and pointless without God. No one seemed to care that my life was in shambles. It was the Lord that held my hand and guided me all these years to His side.

The dark shadows will still appear. The waves will roll over me at times. The storms will blow on me. However I will never again be able to trust in my abilities, my friends, or my companion to take my problems away. I know that when trouble, trials, and conflicts come there is only one place to go and that is to my wonderful God. He alone understands my deep need and my desires. He has revealed to me the emptiness that lies in trying to find answers in the things of this world.

Do not stumble over the answer as I did. Do not search in vain. Never think that the answer is in this world's pleasures, or possessions. The end of all searching will come hopefully with the joy of knowing God is the answer to every need.

Plain Talk