Big D that was the name given to you. But I never knew you would leave us this soon. I'm not sure how to take it, some seem to do just fine. But when God came and took you from me, I too died at the same time.
I knew you 9 month's before anyone else. Me and you were buddying around. You lite up my life the day I found you here beating under my heart. Then when you moved son you just set off the spark's.
I remember when I first saw you, your little finger's in your mouth. If I were to look back now I would say you were ready to box. I asked them to take you back, cause your hair was not the same as your father's pure white, and mine reddish brown. Your hair was cold black and our DNA's didn’t compare. LOL I have to laugh for I really want to cry. You were a really good baby and once you walked oh my. You watched the Ninja Turtles, and how your little legs would fly. You fell on those diapers I don’t know how many time's, but you always got up as we watched you laughing. You liked to lift my weights. You ran for them all the time. At two I knew 25 lbs. was nothing to you.
Then came your brother, oh how ya changed. I remember him crying one afternoon. You went to his crib and grabbed his legs one through one bar and one threw the other and he was coming out. The two of you, as you got older, always ran in the nude. I could not keep ya dressed for nothing.
We grew up close Derek. And even though it was just us three and your father lived away. We did the best we could do so that it would be okay.
We moved many times; lived in Ohio, South Dakota, Georgia, Maine and when you went to your dad's to visit you were in Iowa. As you grew up you always brought folks home, kids that were beaten and left black and blue. Your friends sure miss ya, many don’t know you're gone yet. I'll keep trying to find them and you won't feel alone. Some of your friends have babies and some joined the war, now I often pray for Toby as Iraq ain’t no home for him. I tell him your looking over him and that makes him smile.
There's a star outside my door at night and it goes all over the sky. I just have to laugh as I tell you can’t drive. I know it's you and Gramma or maybe even Rob. I've even said Mom was driving and she's just too short. LOL I feel as if I'm talking to ya right now.
You left us too soon Derek, it wasn’t supposed to be that way. The heart that was beat beside mine now stands at God's feet. You tell him I'm quite sad for I'm sure he knows, but he too had to suffer as they killed his son on the cross. There will always be a place for you in the hearts of us all.
Your friends are all sad and some are mad but those whoever did ya wrong will face you at the gate. I made you the Gate Keeper and you've told them all, the ones who don’t get in never knew you at all. You'll be missed and your brother, well he's fine. So whenever you're out at night Big D shine a little light on your brother and me.
There's a lot of anger from the way you left this earth. But it is all okay for it was you who held my heart. The son I knew nine month's before anyone else left the
world with no answers, but they'll be told the truth. You were straight with the house, Derek, that I can say - for you shouldn’t have to worry. You never checked out that way.
No more worry's about crank, liquor, or cocaine. The way you left this Earth it was the right way. Friends of Derek take this to the bank - if Derek could leave it all alone so can you. Be strong for your children, if not for your Moms, quit the drinking and drugging and running around. You'll just look like your body's in the 90's and paranoia sets in before ya know it your friend's are all gone. Even though they give it up, they left straight with the house.
Derek, I love you, your brother Kyle love's you, and so does the rest. I'll check in with ya later, but for now I'll just rest. You were a great son and some wish you were their's, they try to take credit but they just live in the curse.
